Loser Leaves Town Rap Battle (art by Travis Heckel)

The Loser Leaves Town Rap Battle was a battle of free-flowing rhymes and bars between Stuttering Tommy Rich and Impressionist Jim Ross to determine who would be leaving the territory for 60 days, which occurred during the 1st Anniversary Show of the Superpodcast, Episode 53.



"Brian...give me a beat."

First up to the mic: Impressionist Jim Ross.

It’s me JR, the Superstar
and I wear a big black hat
You’ve got to learn to slow down, son
and I’ll show you where it’s at

I’m JR from Oklahoma
I’ve got more rhymes than (inaudible) got Soma’s
Now I was challenged on these airwaves
by Stuttering Wildfire
Just when he’s getting’ all “fired up”
I’ll be makin’ him retire

and I’m not just here to rank on you
to dance and sing a song
impressions are my stock and trade
and I’ve brought some friends along

(“Genius” Lanny Poffo)

It is I the genius on the mic full of glory and renown
Now listen very carefully at what’s about to go down
I’m the star of the show, the baby Poffo
so stand back world cause I’m about to blow
Telling truth about that toothless goof
with the speech impediment
I’m shooting here so let these truths
become self evident
The stories been told how you won the gold
from handsome Harley race
when a gentleman promoter had a dream date
with your face
your biggest boner, wildfire
was messing with Jim Ross
You can have it your way at Burger King
sampling Barnett’s secret sauce
the loyal 6:05ers are going to send you on your way
we’re going to hit you where it hurts, so stock up on Ben Gay
Did you ever go over to a friend’s house to eat and the food just ain’t no good?
Well I can feed myself in any locker room as long as I can get wood


Challenge me? You must be crazy
Just like an old pet ‘coon
I’ll cut you with this microphone
you stuttering baboon
I’m not a drunk like Tommy
and I just say “no” to drugs
but can rock a podcast to the early lights
so step off while I do my plugs

Chipoltay Mayo, Chipoltay Mayo, Chipoltay Mayo, Chipoltay Mayo
Me Undies, Me Undies, Me Undies, Me Undies

Now wave your hands in the air
If you’ve lent money to Ric Flair
Now somebody, somebody, everybody,
say Carvel Ice Cream

(Terry Funk)

I’m Terry Funk from Amarillo
and I talk like I’m in a fog
My brother Dory told me
“You’re a dirty egg suckin’ dog”
I pity you, I really do
Stuttering Tommy Rich
Because a fat Okie announcer
Is about to make you his bitch
A loser must leave town match, Wildfire
Isn’t that what you said?
You’ll soon be gone just like that jackass
my daddy shot in its head
My jackass, My Jackass
My daddy shot my jackass
My Jackass, My Jackass
Why did you kill my jackass?


Now to all you 6:05’ers
The rest is up to you
I need ya’ll to vote for me
and I know you’ll all come through
I’m not the Iron Sheik, you know
But I’m gonna make him humble
then stuttering tommy rich will be sorry
s-s—ssorry, s-s-s-sorry, he’ll be sorry
he did the 6:05 Rumble.


Voting and Aftermath

On November 28, 2016 - shortly after the release of Episode 53 - a post was put up on the 6:05 Superpodcast Facebook page, allowing listeners to place their votes for who stays in the territory, and closed on December 2 at 12 EST.

On Episode 54, the result read was that Impressionist Jim Ross was forced to leave the Superuniverse for a total of 60 days (from episode 54's drop). The total result was 94 Votes FOR Impressionist Jim Ross vs. 113 Votes FOR Stuttering Tommy Rich.


Superpodcast Rap Battle- Impressionist Jim Ross vs

Superpodcast Rap Battle- Impressionist Jim Ross vs. Stuttering Tommy Rich